Rant: Leave and Cleave sa Minimum Wage?

I just like to rant, na napakahirap mag leave sa poder ng parents if you are earning minimum wage.

Just think about renting a place, let us say 3k minimum to 5k max a month, plus utilities plus food and this 2023 its really important to have internet connection? How can you able to pull that off?

Not to mention right diet is really important. Just a bit of back story, I will definitely say no to what I have done before na egg lang oks na or bili lang ng chicken sa street, ok na and magluto na lang ng rice.

Yes, cheap food is a quick fix and I do not hate it for a short while pero the consequences and impact it brought to my health is like double and horrifying.

I started not to function properly,my brain is clouded, I forget easily, I cannot focus, its hard to sleep, I stutter a lot, I cannot communicate properly with my boss and colleagues.

I get angry easily hence I have damaged all of my relationships.

I am depressed and sad and tired. I thought I was just lazy, but not eating properly is really the root cause. What do you expect with your body if you just eat chicken and egg? Will that be enough to give you energy all throughout out the day?

Seriously, I did not have a clue of what's the matter with my low energy and laziness before because I cannot able to connect the dots back with the way I eat, my diet 😞.

So going back to leaving your parents, it really requires more than a minimum wage to be able to do that.

As much as we like to be independent and have your own space and decision in life without your parents commenting about it, its just really difficult.

Difficult

Impossible

Out of this world.

Sorry for the rant, but let me continue. Is this really the faith of a lot of Filipino???

It really saddens my heart that we cannot able to afford to eat proper food and be independent away from our parents 😞.

So if your brain is functioning properly and you have the skills and brains to earn more money, that is the only thing I think will be the solution to be able to leave and cleave.

That is it for now.

Thanks for reading all the way.

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the pain of running after Paycheck

Ok let us be real, poverty or running after paycheck has a huge effect on the way we think.

A lot of times, being poor has magnified in my whole thought process that made me feel helpless.

Being already the poor I am, food is most of the time a causes problems as well. Especially now we are living in the modern times where in food is expensive.  

What I mean is, the most affordable food most of the time is not the best or healthy at least for me.

I mean, when I was younger, I am not sure if we ever eat beef. The best food I remember that is served in the table is fried chicken.

Now I run across carnivore diet I have found out that chicken meat is less superior than beef. As I remember,  beef has 4 compartments in their stomachs and they have better ability to filter out toxins from what they eat (i.e. pesticides from plants not that they eat plants but they do eat grass).

Anyway, why am I bringing up food on the topic of poverty.

I just like to point out that being already poor and can hardly ever afford to put proper food in the table has a tremendous bad snow ball effect to anyone's life.

Even for me. I thought my first priority being poor is getting rich. But what actually happened to my life is totally different.

Even if how many times I tried to save and invest I keep on being poor and invest on bad types of investments😞. Yes, it seems like I cannot able to make sound decisions. Even when I tried to get a career change to earn more, I ended up not lasting to those jobs. 

My deep thoughts of being poor and helpless goes on and on and its seems like there is no way out.

Until.....,I wouldn't ever have thought that I should be focusing on my overall health and start it with choosing the right food.

With the carnivore/lion diet, what I thought of myself being helpless, pitiful and poor - all those depressing thoughts went away.  depression was the least of my worry now that I have changed my diet.

So my point here is that, as a poor person it is obviously hard to get out of that cycle of poverty because, food is not really a priority. Not that you will get rich when you eat steak or something, but what I am pointing out here is that, being poor and being mentally incapable will not get you anywhere.

At least, even you start being poor, prioritize to eat good food, buy the steak and this will be the best investment you have done for yourself, at least that is what I absolutely feel right now. 

I realize that with the right food even if I am poor, the depression is gone, brain fog is gone, I can think clearly, I have more energy, its easier to sleep and I think my brain is in its best shape ever, which in turn becomes my best tools to tackle life.

In my humble opinion, I needed to be mentally fit first, even though I am broke and had nothing left in my pocket I still prioritize the steak because it made me feel 100 times better.

With the feeling of being capable, I feel I can work my way out of poverty.

Anyway, I hope I made my point across. That is it for now, thank you for reading all the way.

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your BEST SELF is the best tool for your success

You kind of know the theme for my posts here already. And it is all pointing out to the effects I felt when I changed my diet.

But, anyway, I like to make yet another important point here. About finding the best tool to your success.

Beyond physical tools, like technology, this post is about the tool that you alone can create for yourself. And that is equipping your brain to be the most focused, sharp ready for any task you want to make to achieve your goals.

To do that, I think the three most important thing to do is diet change, quality sleep and movements like exercise.

1st Diet Change

Doing carnivore/lion diet with a twist has given me clarity of how devastating my life was before. With brain fog, depression, adhd, anxiety, stress, hunger and a lot more bad symptoms I have experienced before makes me think, how did I able to perform my normal human task back then, when my brain is failing me to do the simplest most basic task?

With choosing the right diet, which for me is carnivore/lion diet, completely eliminating dairy products, I have seen huge improvement in my mental capacity.

I feel like I can focused better, no depression no drama, I can do the task straight to the point without overthinking.

Although I am not strict with carnivore, because I still eat rice I think I am 100 x better compared to what I am before.

For reference I eat mostly beef and small amount of chicken and occasional fish.

I totally avoid dairy and I feel like I am allergic to eggs as well ( not properly diagnosed though).

Sleep

Upon amping up my beef intake, I noticed that I do not need to take too much effort to get a good sleep.

If I eat clean enough just rice and beef, no biscuits and candies, I would definitely be asleep till morning. I do not unintentionally wake up at 2am or 4am to pee.

I do not require to have a self massage before sleep, I just fall asleep naturally, like my body is getting heavy and I have a strong sense to turn off my phone and just sleep.

And that is really surprising for me. Because social media can easily grab my time even if I am not really entertained by it, I can scroll on my phone for hours.

Anyway as I have said, just by eating right, I can able to fall asleep easily ♥️.

Movement

Exercise is a no brainer. Since I am healing my brain, and my whole body holistically, it would for sure benefit anyone to incorporate exercise, a walk in the park or any movement you can incorporate in your day. (Side thought :I am dreaming of walking or running in a park full of trees and light breeze of air. That is for sure my ultimate goal for working out with nature.)

In conclusion....

In able to equip my brain, I have invest heavily on food. Beef is really expensive especially if you eat a specialty cut but I think its totally worth it. ( I kind of getting used to cooking ribeye steak in skillet that taste acceptable).

I am still challeged by eating just beef if I buy the sirloin cut because I am not a good cook and sirloin cut is hard to cook because you need to be creative with them to make it taste better, but pushing the cooking part aside I am for sure feel 100 x better with eating beef.

So basically my point here is just start with the right food, then for sure you will get a good sleep then add exercise to your day and that will definitely equip the brain to function to the best it can be.

At least that is what happened to my experience.

Anyway that is it for now.

I hope I made my point across.

Thanks for reading all the way.

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mindset that is not leading you to your best self? or is it really about the mindset?

image is not mine <credits to the rightful owner, please message to take it down>

I have a similar post about this point.

My question is, is limiting beliefs, excuses, are really the reason why you cannot move forward with your life?

I would say that no. Its not about the bad mindset the reason why a person keep on failing.

If you read the book of Robert Kiyosaki, no, its not the poor dad's mindsets the reason why are you broke.

If you read atomic habits book and you think the reason you are mediocre is because you do not build small habits that leads to success, NO, habits is not the main reason you are mediocre.

Like I pointed out on my previous post, you will not be able to make good choices and would not have the energy to get up and do something if your brain is not functioning well.

I call it, brain damage. A bit harsh, yes it is a harsh word but, I like to describe it as it is because of how serious it would affect one's life.

It's no way visible to the naked eye but its destruction to a person's life is really scary.

If your brain is damaged, you are more likely a depressed person, always thinking negatively about life, that is why I said in the first sentences that whatever rich mindset you put in your head, you will never be able to implement it effectively in your life, because you do not have the capacity to do so. Your brain is just not functioning properly.

Aside from that, you always feel irritable with anything or anyone, be it at work or at home or with your friends.

Just imagine how damaging it can be to your overall life. Burning bridges means burning opportunities. If you don't get along with your colleagues how can you able to have a successful career??? How can you last to your work? 

With damaged brain, you will not have the motivation to get up and do physical activities, so even making small habits are hard to do. I remember one of the signs of depression is staying in the bed the whole day, well staying in bed is not a sign of depression but a sign of your brain telling you to rest because you need healing. 

You have to heal you brain and your entire body by eating the right food, sleep and exercise.

In my case, once I tried carnivore/lion diet, I instantly noticed the difference. Especially when I eat beef. Getting sleep at night became easy, I do not feel as hungry anymore, I have focus in my work, I am not as irritable and I can get along with my colleagues, I can complete my sentence, I do not stutter and I can focus on my work better.

My main point here is that, its not mainly the poor mindset that is making you look live a sad life, but its because your whole being is broken enough,so you do not have time to be motivated by any gurus out there.

If you really wanted to move forward with your life, you have to heal yourself first, and all the benefits of carnivore/ lion diet I mentioned up will be your main tool to plan and execute the life you wanted to achieve.

That is it for now.

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If I was to Choose Which Self Love Activity I would do first... I will Choose

How do you define self love, for me this means prioritizing oneself over any other aspects in life?

Most of the time, I would see people go travel and that is the form of self love for them.

Some buy things that would enhance their beauty like make up or new clothes.

Some, would treat themselves to a fancy restaurant.. and the list would go on depending on the person.

Right now, if I was to choose which self love activity I would do first... I will  definitely choose "change of diet".

I had an experience before where in my self love activity is going out to the mall and eat to my heart's content from a fast food chain ( this is fancy enough for me 😆). I am contented that way. But my seemingly love yourself moment, that is supposed to make me feel relaxed and gives me more energy for another work day seems like not enough - it doesn't last long, it is short-lived.

I get stressed back again upon going back to my usual work life activity.

Hence, now that I am doing lion diet/ carnivore, never would have I thought that  there is an underlying reason/ health issue/ mental damaged why I always require myself to have a time off or a 'self love activity '.

I wish that I know it sooner that no matter how many pizza I eat, or how many vacation I get my usual burnout will not be cured that way.

My conciousness is opened with how munch I feel right now when I did Carnivore/ Lion diet. Although I incorporated back rice, I still felt 10x better mentally, emotionally and physically.

The depression, the anxiety, the burnout I feel, I don't feel that way anymore.

For the record, I always have a bad blood with one of my co workers because I easily snap at people for the simplest reason. But now, I am more understanding as I can be, I do not shake or stutter when I go to meetings, I interact with my colleagues well, not that I forced myself to, but you know, even if you are not that jive with your workmates, it doesn't hinder me to have a small talk with them. Right now, my brain is working well to make sound decisions when it comes to socialising. I kid you not, on my darkest days -years of my life I bought the idea that I was an introvert, that it just the way it is. I do not have the ability to interact with people, but when I changed my diet and incorporate exercise, all these small worries somehow seems so nothing - or  worthless. 

Moving on, I would say, if only, if only I knew that the problems I am facing with regards to work burnout, failing relationships, brain fog, stuttering, depression, irritability, anxious is because my brain is damaged due to bad food choices and bad lifestyle, I wish that I can speed up the time I discovered carnivore/lion diet and started my healing immediately.

But as I shared here in the blog, I experimented on a lot of things before I found about carnivore/lion diet. 

If only I knew immediately what should I do with self love activity I would have have chosen useless eating out or taking a time off doing the same bad lifestyle. But anyway, having gone through many trial and error, I have found out what food is bad for me, and what food that makes me feel best.

And that is beef and rice.

Where to buy beef is a struggle for at least months and learning how to cook it too.

But with months of experimentation, I learned where to buy beef and how to cook it the easiest way.

Let me just share here real quick, I buy my beef at Monterey meatshop here in bulacan. I choose the ribeye cut it ranges from 350 (2cuts inside) and I eat that lunch and dinnertime. I don't usually east breakfast. 

While the method of cooking is searing the meat in the pan. There is a quick story behind this, because I could never cook the beef right, until recently I found this YouTube video. I followed all his visual cues when cooking, for ingredients I kept it simple with salt pepper and garlic only and after that time I cooked the beef, I think its perfection and I am always eating this way for a couple of days now.

So that is it, my conclusions is that, you needed self love because you brain is slowly deteriorating, that is why it is important to take a big step and change on the way you eat and incorporate exercise and prioritize sleep. I would say, that self love like what others defines it like eating on a new opened restaurant or visit the new attractions contributes very little to your brain health, but a constant change of diet and the usual exercises and have a good sleep ♥️.

Thanks for reading all the way.

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Got a Brain Damage?

Isn't it a little awkward hearing someone told you that you have a brain damage.

Well some may be furious or irritated or just chill and accepts it as a joke.

I think brain damage is the easiest description as to what happened to my brain due to bad diet, lacks of sleep and lacks of exercise.

It may not like the same as the brain damage that is visible like when you got an accident but this kind of damage I would say is far more dangerous.

Because you look normal physically but inside your brain you are so broken that you can't even perform as a normal human being.

In my case, this went on for year's.

I lack sleep.

I am always hungry.

I hardly perform at work, I forget easily. I can't focus.

I get anxious at people easily, my relationship with everyone else is not good because I snap at them when I see one bad thing about them.

And I don't know the reason why???

It was the horrible years of my life.

My unproductive years where I just go to work just to survive.

I cannot make sound decisions about money, lovelife or career. I cannot make a sound decisions at anything.

It felt like I suck at everything 😞. My dark days.

Since I am always hungry that time that is the key for me to try different diets which eventually leads me to carnivore/ lion diet now (with a twist).

I really felt healing with eating beef, I throw away the junk food, I found out that I have bad reactions to dairy (not diagnosed yet if I am allergic to dairy), my sleep got better and if I am concious enough, I add jumping and some exercise here and there, I wasn't as hungry as I am before, I think better, I feel that my depression is going away, I had positive attitude toward life, I am not easily irritated by people, really I cannot explain enough how much better I think and feel today with eating right, sleeping right and exercising.

It has healed my brain back slowly and I am noticing the big difference ♥️.

I think its really important yo know the underlying reason why are you suffering,  mentality, physically and emotionally.

If I wouldn't know that I could heal my brain with just by changing my diet, I wouldn't be able to go through life. As challenging as life as it is, its really important that you are mentally sound so at least you can get by and move forward.

That is it fo now 

Thanks for reading all the way.

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Invest in Yourself:Advise what to Buy to Improve Physical Appearance

Well, I think, this is a helpful advice to freshly graduate professionals who started to earn their own money and you know, you wanted to buy some stuff to look a little bit put together. Not expensive but just basic things to step up the way you look.

We will set aside the internal beauty for now.. i.e. beauty is from within, start with seeing good things in everything... That internal beauty topic will be for another post.

Moving on, I think I have wasted a lot of money on spending on items that I rarely use to enhance my beauty.

So I hope this helps you to save money and focus on what you really will use every single time.

Let's break it into two parts.

1. Makeup

2. Clothes

For makeup, as a starter, I definitely recommend lip tint. I have used my Tony Moly lip tint till it expired - I am not kidding.

I have bought many shades of lipstick and I ended up throwing them because I never really use them. So stick with lip tint. If you have more money to waste to buy different shade of lipstick I don't mind, but for people who values their money and doesn't really care about makeup, lip tint is the basic and will instantly gives you color.

Secondly - well this may not be the case for everyone but for reference I have a messy eyebrows. So teenagers if you have messy eyebrows like me, do not hesitate to buy tweezers, scissors for the eyebrows, eyebrow shaver and a eyebrow pencil.

One eyebrow pencil is enough and I use mine for many years without replacing them.  If you want to be extra, eyebrow maskara is also good, like everything else I use it till it expired.

The point here is that, a put together brows is always better.

I think I am gonna stop there, because I am assuming since fresh graduates are relatively young that you have a perfect skin and doesn't need help with foundation.

As minimal as it can get a put together brows and a coloured lips is all you need in my opinion.

For the second part, clothes.

This is tricky because we all have different sense of style. 

Personally it is really hard for me because I stand less than five feet 😞.

Anyway, I have bought a lot of clothes that are unflattering for my height and body type and to be honest I don't have that sense of fashion. 

So I just copy influencers that I think looks great.

This is a hit and miss as well, but anyway my recent influencer that I follow is Elana Kinda.

So my goal for now is just copy what exactly she is wearing (not the brand of course as I cannot afford it).

So, I think that the first thing you needed in your life is a light wash skinny jeans.

I kid you not, the plane ones without design skinny jeans, I use it every day. (I just wash them once a week).

I am yet to build my wardrobe based on her recommendation because I just recently found her content. But anyway the point is find an inspiration.

I like Elana Kinda because she presents an outfit that can be worn all the time. And that is the goal right.

Not waste money on things that looks cool but eneded up not looking great on you or you couldn't wear it at all.

Anyway, I think taht is a wrap for now and thank you for reading all the way.

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referral Pinoy Culture

"irefer mo naman ako sa work".

I have been in this position many times.

Asking people I know to refer me to work locally or abroad.

To give a little bit of context, wala akong sense of direction when it comes to career kaya kahit anong work that seems good paying, I would dream to get that work.

Looking back, after 7 companies, being employed locally, abroad, and private companies,  it seems like looking for a job aimlessly is something that is not worth while to experience.

Having a job sure is vital for you to provide for your basic needs, but this is not something you should aspire as the highest point of your life.

Work for me, now, should be treated as something like a community. Exerting your wisdom and effort to help businesses grow. Its a like a basic interaction between humans. Helping eachother.

Its not about slaving yourself or running after money, yes you should be paid for your services but work shouldn't be viewed as something like someone is extorting you of your labour.

Anyway, back to the main topic " ipasok mo naman ako sa work" culture.

"Or i-refer mo naman ako" I think its really a phase of someone's life. Where in you are attracted to the lamp because its too bright. I hope this "attitude" is not seen negatively.

and on our side who asks the favour, I hope that its ok when you got refusals.

Asking for a job / "referral" I think is a natural phase on someone's life.

Whether you get good results from it or not, I think it doesn't matter much.

There are far better topic/issues that are more important.

That is it for now.

Thanks for reading all the way.

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Depressions, Is it a sign of Brain Damage?

When we think about brain damage, we think we had an accident of some sort.

You go to the hospital and the doctor cut through you skull and bandage it up afterwards.

I have a weird theory, what if, depression, adhd, brain fog, memory loss, anxious, stuttering are signs of a damaged brain.

When I found out about carnivore and how it tremendously change my life- that means more focus, I don't tend to be reminded of the past that is circling around my mind, better sleep, I stutter no more, I can hold up a conversation without being scared, I can be in a meeting without being scared, I do not set a war against everyone because I am irritated by them, I am less anxious and my mind just thinks of the present.

Well, that's the result of carnivore/lion diet right? ( sorry I still eat carbs though but eating meat has healed me even though I am not strict).

I become a better person. Like a new minded person.

So basically what does carnivore/lion diet do? It improves the symptoms that is no way visible in the naked eye.

Yes I look fine on the outside but I feel like a garbage on the inside before. But eating right changed that.

After changing my diet to mostly beef, occasional chicken as a treat and a little rice (sorry I still cannot give this up ) and one controversial thing that I add on my diet it cocoa powder with a little sugar and hot water (I know this is no way carnivore anymore but let me explain some other time on a different post).

Anyway as I was saying, as I changed my diet to mostly beef, I feel better, I began to sleep better, my mental performance is better, I remember at work and able to focus better, I am not irritated to everyone hence I have better relationships. I am not depressed when I am alone, I do not recall the past like a broken record in my head.

So yeah you get the point. Damaged brain is not the usual head trauma, it's a malfunctioning brain that affects the way you speak, feel and think.

And I was so amazed by how you can damaged your brain by just eating crap, not sleeping a couple of days and not exercising.

Its a simple 3 step formula to live healthy but sadly we all neglect nowadays.

Anyways, that is it for now.

Thank you for reading all the way

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Manifesting and Laurel Hack pangtamad nga ba

Another lazy thinking that captures my attention and I almost followed is the Laurel thing ritual.

It says that burning laurel leaves will bring good luck.

Laurel is a pretty inexpensive spice, so I do not mind doing this ritual at all ...

But checking what is inside my heart again, what is the reason why I almost did this petty ritual is because I am yet again focused on what I do not have.

My mind is looking like a scene where "a person is looking on a telescope looking at the sparkles of money" -that I was so focused on something insignificant compared to looking at life holistically. 

Anyways, I think many of us are easily got caught up to this trend, it's kind of trending via different social media. It seems to me that we are always betting for the easiest way to get a good life, whether it may be a simple ritual or betting on lottery.

Anyway... 

Another motivational belief that is so popular out there is the "manifestation" thing.

I remember I once heard it on a auditorium lead by my college professor.

He is so passionate that everyone of his students watch "The Secret" in the hopes that everyone of us becomes successful.

Manifestation is basically what The Secret teaches.

That the universe will align itself to whatever blessings you manifest in your mind.

Truthfully I believe in this for a long time, like an on and off thing on the back of my mind.

It is really the same principles as burning the laurel leaves for good luck.

Here you are encouraged that you always affirm your mind of whatever blessings you desire. If you believe well enough, all your dreams and goals will come true.

Eventually..., Right now, I  would say that, I strayed away from this mentality because I was pushing aside the should be one person who is top of my mind.

It defeats my spiritual beliefs that you have to love God above all else.

If I practice manifesting, what is it that I am always thinking?

Weather it be lovelife, or material things, in manifesting, you are claiming and affirming yourself that you will eventually acquire it. And your focus is basically not inclined to my Christian beliefs.

Anyway, like I said, its not just about that missing lovelife or missing cash, I have to live life holistically and those petty things like cash or lovelife is not as important as to lose your beliefs, that in your passing life its not worth the trouble to be lost and made a sidetrip running after material things when you only should have one focus in life.

Anyway, that is it for now.

Thank you for reading all the way.

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running after motivational quotes

I am a sucker for motivational quotes.

This always piqued my interest when I scroll down through social media.

Ie.

"Your salary is a bribe they give you to forget your dreams"

"Quit the Rat Race'

Francis Kong

Atomic habits

Rich dad poor dad

Steve Harvey

The common well known folks Like Warren Buffet/ Bill Gates etc..

Well some of it comes from books but many or parts from book are posted on social media as motivational quotes.

I think this habit of mine, being in awe and sharing motivational quotes via social media goes on for many years.

And even up to till now, of course I do not brush away good quotes.

But the difference now, is that I do not dwell so much about it and thinking how can I able to apply it on my own life. 

As I have elaborated on my previous post, its not that I lack from inspiration that my life is not like I wanted.

My laziness and feeling uninspired to do do anything is a symptom of a deeper health problem.

My inflammation on the body, which resulted to my depression, fatigue, laziness, brain fog, adhd and so on.

And good thing those unseen inflammation is somehow lessened by choosing the right diet and identifying that I have a dairy allergy.

I am so happy that through elimination diet or carnivore or the lion diet has enable me to know what absolute food is a no for me, what food is the most dense and made me full the longest so I can just focus of those and start my healing.

With my health getting better and my sleep getting better,  a big cloud in my mind suddenly was blown away and I started to have a clear mind.

A clear mind that can work, without the help of too much motivational quotes.

I can start off my day just fine not needing additional emotional strength 😆.

I think that is it for now.

Sorry it's kind of hard to get my point across.

But thank you for reading all the way.

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just start- motivational quotes for the lazy

I always wonder why this motivational quote somehow doesn't pierce through me.

         "Just Start'

Yes I have ambition and goals that I wanted to achieve, but hearing "just start", start somewhere or start with nothing, start with any equipment that you have as of the moment,.

I mean its logical that in able for you to achieve your goals and dreams you have to start with something but there is always a heavy feeling that drag my mind and body not to start.

Yes, you know the world, its called lazy.

But looking back, now I realize that I have inflammation problem because of wrong food choices, especially my discovery about my dairy allergy, I feel like its not I do not want to start or I am merely lazy.

With my condition before, I think its more of a symptom. Me being lazy is a symptom due to inflammation in my body.

Its just impossible to be able to Start.

No matter how I listen to motivational quotes to start and make the first step.

So in conclusion, it's really important to listen to your body.

I thought that me waking up 3am in the morning is normal due to my UTI.

Subtle headache upon waking up, to tell you a story I actually I have a high pain tolerance, I didn't know that I was already having a major headache. I simply ignore what I feel.

Other symptoms I feel is not being able to sleep as I wanted, sensitivity to noise, inability to block out noise ( if you are a perfectly healthy person it will be easy for you to ignore noise and focus on something), depression, cycle of neverending thoughts- like no matter how much I tried to put an end on to a memory, it just keeps repeating in my head.

I actually now realised that my symptoms before are severe. I knew that my body is inflamed inside hence cannot able to function well. Adding fuel to the fire, I cannot heal, due to low quality of sleep.

I can go on, and share to you the symptoms I feel for years, I think that went on for 7 years. Its not all bad days, but most of it are like an unpleasant days of waking up tired, weak, poor memory, poor concentration, hungry and many more.

I also like to point out that I look perfectly normal. Other than visceral fat and pimples, I look like a normal functioning person.

But in reality, I stutter when I speak, I easily forgets, I got brain fog, I easily loose my temper.

With this kind of invisible disease, its easy to lose your work because there is no way you are going to perform wella and its easy to lose relationship due to temper issues.

Anyway, with all that being said, can you able to start?

Start with your goals and dreams?

When there is an invisible disease that is eating your life out.

Thank goodness I am now more aware.

I may not be fully healed yet at least I can able to heal slowly. Make a better decisions when it comes to food and hopefully be better completely ♥️.

That is it for now.

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Increasing Income

Increasing income has been my dream for the longest time.

I have follow the corporate ladder blindly simply because I just wanted to earn more.

But having close to 8 years of experience, across private company, government agency, working abroad, 3 call center companies after, I think I am still an average earner.

Having to earn minimum wage twice, seems to me that my skills are not like wine that increases value in the long term.

But, that is life.

And I have to accept that.

But I still dream of earning more.

That is why when I heard about freelancing and how they earn dollars is really tempting to me.

But I do not want to be blinded just like what I have done in the past.

If in case I do find a part time job thru freelancing, I would like to protect my inner motives.

I do not like to be greedy, or proud that will lose my sense of humanity.

Since, my experience has thought me that money can easily change my heart.

Just like Dave Ramsey's says money will make you more of what you already are. 

If you got a temper and you got money, you are going to called a tyrant.

If you are generous then you got more money, they will call you a philanthropist.

I really resonated on that phrase because money did not solve any of my problems.

I feel like I am an irresponsible spender. Spending money like spilling water on the dirt.

That is why, however big money I got its always not enough.

Maybe, the deeper explanation is, my god is not the True God, but money. 

I just love having money ☹️, to the point I forget what being humble means. What real happiness means. What living a life according to what God design is.

And God's design on what life is, does not include running after money to the point where your whole life is being controlled to money goal only.

I just hope as I pursue this freelance job, that I dont get nearsighted to just earning money only, but always have a magnified view that money is just a tool.

That is it for now.

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My Dream Trap

I kinda feel nervous because I cannot contain my excitement how much money I can potentially earn by freelancing.

For context, I came across a group about freelancing FB page "molongski" and seeing how many Filipino earn dollars through it. My heart had high hopes.

But at the same time, I feel like I have experienced this before, when I tried to earn money via forex trading.

You all knew the horrible downfall I have experienced in forex and I kinda afraid that the excitement I feel now about freelancing will have the same fate I experienced in forex before.

Attitude Problem

I think part of the problem is because I am blinded by having so much money.

Greed 

I think the attitude really is a factor of how horrible you can get hurt when you fall / fail.

So right now, I am really wary about freelancing.

But at the same time I really wanted to try it out, to invest on equipment like laptop and get myself vulnerable out there to offer my service.

One other thing is the cost, I think I just have to justify the purchase for the laptop, because apparently that means a bunch of money that I happen to not earn easily, if in case nothing happens with freelancing.

But I think, I still can use laptop to continue to write blog.

Right now I predominantly use my phone, but it would be nice to have your own laptop.

Well this post became a huge rant.

😆 Sorry for that. You know the feeling when you are under stress and you desperately wanted other people to understand you. Haha, that is what I am feeling right now.

Well I guess its not that bad, to aspire to have a part time work.

Cost can be inevitable when trying out change, so I guess why not try.

That is it for now.

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2023 I kind of Forgot Why I started this Blog

I am trying to remember why did I create this blog.

Hmmmn, I am not sure if this is accurate, but I think that creating this site is my usual attempt to have a part time job.

And the only work I know that time is to earn money via blogging or writing. Its like the easiest job in the world, if you really do earn from blogging, because you just have to make a post at your own phase and that is it.

I did tried YouTube sometime after my site was created but up to today its kind of idle other than the Paymaya Referral Code I share.

Anyway, blogging from 2017 up to now has been really fun for me.

I get to share anything, since this is a personal blog, I get to share my ups and mostly downs, lessons in life that is worth sharing, meeting people 😊.

I have met, Seantrepreneur, Pink Pensive, Savings Pinay, CEC Venture and hope to know more people in the future 

I actually did a collaboration post like a Q & A type of post with them, you may click the link to view♥️.

2023- like 6 years after, even if this blog is not giving out payouts - opposite of what I intended to, for me it does not matter. But just to share, I think this blog helps with the referral bonus I get from Paymaya one way or the other.

Anyway, the sense of pride I get with humble blogging warms my heart.

Not that there is something to brag, but I am happy with this form of connection I make to the world.

Where in I have a total control over it.

I can lay low sometimes if I feel like it, or I can share as much if I like as well.

♥️

It is indeed a hobby.

Similar to my gardening hobby, its indescribable of how much happiness and calmness it brings me.

In gardening, I may spend like over 200 pesos every now and then just to get few calamasi fruit 😆, it really doesn't justify it economically but I am still happy nevertheless. I think that this is the same thing I feel about blogging. ♥️

That is it for now.

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