I Guess another How to manage Stress? - Journal about it.

I don't know why, but I have been stressing so much these past few weeks. 🤯 Somehow, it reminded me that I had the best year back in 2021, but seeing myself now, I feel like I am stressing way too much over simple things. 😮‍💨

Recently, I was listening to some content about a business owner who was asked why people patronize his business and why he is so successful. He answered by saying that he simply surrendered his business to the Lord. 🙏 

It really made sense to me. With the kind of business he has—which is a food business—I can think of a million reasons why things could go wrong! 🍔🌭💸Later, you will understand why I brought this story up.

Then it clicked in my tiny brain. 💡 Here I was, thinking about what surrendering to the Lord actually looks like, because I just didn't understand it before: Maybe it is something similar to what the business owner did.

• I remembered trying to pray every single morning, thinking that was what surrendering meant. 🌅

• I wondered if it meant religiously going to church every Sunday (I actually did that for a whole year in a Catholic church, to the point where I already knew the exact verses they were about to read on a weekly basis!). ⛪📖

• I also thought 'surrendering all to God' meant giving money to the beggars on the street who ask for help on weekends. 🪙🤲

I have done all these things thinking they meant surrendering to God.

Going back to surrendering, 2020 was the year where all my plans about money fell down. 📉 I left my job and lost all my money on trading. 💸 In short, my life seems to be failing. 

But when 2021 came, I felt so blessed by the Lord because, mind you, I landed a work-from-home job that felt like it was handed to me like a wrapped gift! 🎁💼 I didn't even actively apply for it like I used to! Mind you, WFH job is a big deal that time because nobody can't go out because of the pandemic.

So I thought: what was so unique about 2021? What did I do to receive that guidance, protection, and blessing from the Lord? 🤔

At that time, I still didn't fully understand what surrendering to God really meant. I knew I wanted to be close to Him, but I just didn't know how to surrender.

So I started putting the pieces together. 🧩 Does surrendering to God mean handing over your fears?

• The fear of what is going to happen with your work, which is the source of your food and basic needs. 🍞🏠

• The fear of life itself—that what I do, will influence the people I interact with, especially the vulnerable ones. 👥 I have a lot of nieces, nephews, and young kids around me who look up to my ways, and my biggest fear is that I might do or say something that turns them away from the Lord. 💔

• Remember that famous line: "Kakasimba pa lang, pero magmumura na pagdating sa bahay" (Just came from church, but already swearing as soon as they get home)? 😅 I really don't want to be that kind of person whose actions turn others away from the faith. 🛑 I myself easily feel embarrassed when I see improper behavior from fellow Christians. 🙈

When that businessman said he surrendered his food business to the Lord, it clicked: maybe that’s similar to what happened to me back in 2021. 💡

I remember making a sincere prayer, something like: “Lord, I am going to change my ways. Wherever I work, I will do my absolute best to live harmoniously with my coworkers. I promise not to deliberately offend anyone, to tame my mouth, and to actively build good, healthy relationships.” 🤝🤍

That reflection brought another realization. Is this what the Bible means by "denying yourself" and surrendering to God? 🤯

It really hit me hard. Before, I was never someone who tried to appease others; I would gladly offend people just to look cool. But I chose to pray for the exact opposite—promising not to act like a brat, intentionally causing offense to people, or say foolish things just for show. 😎🚫

That was definitely not my old self—it went completely against my natural personality.

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." — Luke 9:23 ✝️📖

Praise God for this realization! 🙌 Maybe this is the reason why I’ve felt so stressed lately: I haven’t been fully surrendering my plans to Him. I worry constantly about work and whether I’ll have enough for the future (thinking so much about the baby steps). While working hard and wanting to succeed is natural, I forgot the most crucial part—including God in everything I do. Relying solely on my own strength only leads to exhaustion. 💪❌

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts today. I guess I was just venting. But I hope there are some bits that is helpful to others. Thanks for reading all the way! 📝🕊️